- These questions include various levels of topics – from introductory questions for visitors to group or church, to non-threatening conversation starters, to family, to spiritual questions.
- Preparation is helpful. Before meeting with someone – even someone you know – it can help your time together before more meaningful if you’ll think through what to talk about before you meet.
- It takes situational awareness to know which question(s) to ask and how – timing and tone. Just pick a few. Try one spiritual question and see where it leads the conversation. If you’ve been in group with someone, you may know some of these things. Adapt according to how you know the person.
- People want to be known. At the same time, people can be ‘afraid’ of being known. If it’s a visitor to church or group, remember they’re in unfamiliar territory. Even if you’re uncomfortable talking to visitors, you still have the home court advantage.
Questions for New People
People you haven’t met before…. visitors to church or group.
- How did you hear about River (or small group)?
- Do you know others who come to River (or group)?
- Are you from Wichita?
- Relate to them… maybe by briefly sharing how you found River or group.
- How can I help you? Is there anything you’d like to know about River?
- It’s usually best to keep conversations relatively short unless they’re asking questions.
Ice Breaker Questions
Surface talk (ice breakers) [could be used in small group or 1 on 1]
- What was your most memorable haircut?
- What was your dream car growing up? What did you actually drive?
- Tell us about your first fender bender.
- What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever visited?
- What is your favorite form of exercise? Least favorite?
- What are 3 items on your current wish list?
- What is one activity that energizes you?
- What is one activity that drains you?
- What activity do you wish you had more time for?
- Do you have any fun trips/events you are planning over the holidays/summer, etc?
- How would you describe your personality?
- What do you think about when you are driving in the car?
- What is your favorite thing to do with downtime? (Do you have downtime?)
- Do you listen to music or podcasts? What music? Which podcasts?
- What would you like to do if you had more time?
Family – Job – Life Questions
Family/Job/Life (One on one with someone you’re trying to get to know)
- Ask about their family. Tailor to what you already know about them. Kids/grandkids/roommates
- Family background – Did you grow up in Wichita? How did you meet your spouse?
- Job – how did you get into (your profession)? What do you like about your job?
- How did you come to River?
- Did you grow up in Wichita? Where else have you lived?
Going deeper. Spiritual questions. (Helpful for building connections with group members, accountability partners, someone you are trying to help grow.)
- Are you satisfied with how your life/walk with Christ is going now? (Follow up question: How can I help?)
- What has God been teaching you lately? (Follow up questions: is that an area that you’re seeking to grow in [to close the gap on faith and love?])
- How have you seen God at work in your life recently?
- What have you been talking to God about in prayer? Have you been asking him for help in a particular area? Have you seen God answer prayers?
- What does your time with God look like? (Time, where, topic, devotional book, book of the Bible). Questions about spiritual practices: meditation, scripture memory, silence and solitude, prayer, Bible intake, learning, worship, etc.
- Where/when do you feel closest to God?
- Is there something you are working on trusting God with today? Is there a specific situation, challenge, pattern of thinking or behavior, etc.?
- If they are married, have kids, or have roommates, ask about family prayer times or devotional times.
- Pay attention to prayer requests in small group. Praying for people can help give you a heart for them. Ask them about prayer requests that they have previously shared. What is an update? Have they seen God move?
- Gospel opener “Are you certain you are going to heaven when you die, or is that something you are still working on?”opener that